I’m officially back from my hiatus! Yay! To start off the new year, I’d like to talk about rejection.
Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m one of those people who’s on the fence when it comes to American Idol. I could take it or leave it, especially since during the gut of the season (when the episodes are two hours long) I fast forward through more than half the show.
But, that being said, there are some valuable lessons to be learned from the preliminary competition--those gut-wrenching, heart breaking auditions.
Half the people we get to see are rejected, and less than half of them take it well.
Similarly, a lot of writers don’t know how to take rejection well. In fact, they take it down right poorly, and behave badly as a result.
Now, I decided to write this blog post, comparing the two “audition” and rejection processes, because I’ve seen writers (specifically those who are no good at getting rejected) complain about how ridiculous the people on American Idol act when they get booted. Let’s see if we can open those eyes and show them why their behavior ain’t so different.
Below are all of the variations of post-rejection behavior I can think of. If you’ve got another, let me know!
1. On Idol: “I can sing something else” or “Let me try it one more time.”
Who these writers are: The type that wants to send in revised versions after the story has been rejected.
Why this is “taking it poorly”: They already said no, and you don’t know why. If you did know why, you would have fixed it before you submitted it, not after. That means any revisions you do to try to appease one editor probably won’t make a lick of difference in the quality of your work. Check off the market and move on.
2. On Idol: “What can I do differently?” and, subsequently, “Ok, let me do that for you now...”
Who these writers are: The type that writes back after a form rejection to demand why the story was rejected. Also, the type that writes back immediately after receiving a personal rejection with the “fixed” version.
Why this is “taking it poorly”: These people don’t owe you anything. Freelance writing, whether it be fiction or non, is like being a door-to-door salesman. Or worse, a telemarketer. You’re trying to sell a stranger a product they didn’t ask you for. How often do you just say “no thanks” and shut the door? I know people who hang up the phone without a word once they realize someone’s trying to sell them something. Do you owe the salesman an explanation as to why you don’t want to buy their product? Hell no, right? That would be a waste of time.
And part B, the people who say, “Ok, look, I’ve fixed it per your request” (when no such request was made)? They’re door-to-door salesmen who come back! Any sort of feedback is a parting gift. In the dating world, it’s equivalent to your date telling you at the end of the night that next time, you might want to wear deodorant. He doesn’t want to go out with you again, but he’s giving you a tip that’ll help with the next guy.
3. On Idol: “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Who these writers are: People who take it personally, because they think they’re perfect.
Why this is “taking it poorly”: “How dare they reject me?” Well, they didn’t reject you. They rejected something you did, which is not the end-all-be-all of you (at least, I hope not). This person tends to reject any and all criticisms. They have the biggest egos, and the thinnest stilts on which to place them. They refuse to improve, deciding instead that everyone around them is stupid; everyone else needs to evolve their tastes to be able to appreciate the wonder that is The Author. Arrogance incarnate.
4. On Idol: “It has nothing to do with my singing, you don’t like me because...”
Who these writers are: The type that believes only people who are already professionals get published, that freelance is closed to the amateur. Mostly these are newbies who believe in all those lovely writing myths.
Why this is “taking it poorly”: Because it’s just one giant excuse. It’s the writer refusing to see the real problem. This attitude is a roadblock to improvement. Instead of trying to figure out what you can do to force a publisher to take a chance on an unknown quantity such as yourself (by learning the most you can about how to craft a great story--and then successfully applying that knowledge), you say “I can’t.” “I can’t” is always a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re right, if you say you can’t, you really can’t. Change your attitude!
5. On Idol: “But I’m a recording artist!”
Who these writers are: People who self-publish because “that’ll show those big greedy publishing houses, I’ll make millions on my own! Then won’t they be sorry if they don’t publish my next book...” (NOTE: this is a very specific breed of the self-published, and does not at all reflect everyone who chooses to self-publish.)
Why this is “taking it poorly”: Oh really, you’ve already chosen the “better rout” by bypassing those great, greedy fingers in New York? So what are you doing here? Putting a self-published book on a writing resume does not count (unless, of course, it’s a reprint). Publishers and Agents alike frown upon this big time. So, if you’re looking for them to represent or invest in your work, don’t wave your disregard for the process in their face. Even if you don’t out right say it’s self-published, they can easily find out. Believe it or not, there is a large quality gap between the majority of people self publishing and the majority of people publishing traditionally. But these people don’t see it: “I think it’s good, so it must be!”
These are also the type of people who aren’t upfront with the fact that they’re books are self-published, something that really irks me personally. I’ve met several people who, when I tell them I’m a writer trying to get published, they say “Oh, I’ve got a published book, it’s a...” I get all excited because I’m thinking, hey, here’s someone who might be interested in showing me the ropes, someone I could learn from, how cool! Then I find out their book is self-published and they’ve never tried to get anything else published in their life. They did it just so they could say “I’m published.” This is dishonest, and is a slap in the face to all those people who toil for years to get published professionally. It’s hard work, and in the end you get something to show for it. Just finishing a manuscript does not mean you’ve accomplished enough to hold yourself in the ranks of all those people sitting on the shelves of Barns and Noble, yet that’s what they’re trying to claim. Full disclosure, people!!! (Ok, mini-rant over.)
6. On Idol: ”I got two nos and one yes,” (when they really received three nos.)
Who these writers are: The type that only hears what they want to hear. They’re the people who jump onto message boards at three in the morning to post the “personal” rejection they just received--and lo and behold it’s a form rejection you’ve seen a billion times. Again, mostly these people are newbies who are looking for some semblance of encouragement. Not necessarily bad, but still delusional.
Why this is “taking it poorly”: Because they need a reality check. They need to grow some thick skin asap because this industry is tough. People don’t have to like your work, and to begin with most people won’t. The sooner you realize that not everyone wants to pat you on the back about the good things (while glossing over the bad), the better. There doesn’t have to be a silver lining behind every rejection--unless you count the fact that you get to send the story to a new market!
7. On Idol: “Thank you for your time.”
This is the correct response to rejection, 100% of the time! It is the only correct answer! And guess what, as a writer, you tell the editor this before they reject your work. That means a rejection requires no response from you whatsoever! Yay for everyone who takes rejection this way; it is the hallmark of a well rounded, mature individual.
~Marina
Rejections, goal 100: 16
PS. I also added one WotF honorable mention to my achievements last year :-)
